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flummoxicatedHave you all heard of this? The Open Source Boob Project? Basically it starts with a bunch of people at a Con who had a grope fest. That in and of itself is no big deal, providing they follow the quaint 'consenting adults' thing. But then this guy tries to cloak being able to touch any random woman's breasts in public into some sort of body positive, female empowering thing - basically a meme that he wanted to spread throughout Cons and one assumes, throughout the world. Just let us compliment you by touching your breasts.
If you read his post I've linked to above (he's added a bunch of updates so you need to scroll down to finally get to the original post I'm talking about), it's painfully obvious that he's reworking some high school social issues out. Some especially horrifying quotes (I've bolded the especially egregious sections below):
"In this moment, all of the societal restrictions had fallen away, and we discovered an eBay-like need: We liked to express adoration of her body, and she liked the compliment of being desired. It wasn't a one-way flow; it was a stream of compliments being passed back and forth as we explored that small zone of her body, a My God, these are beautiful breasts you have, along with the backstream compliment of Thank you, you're worthy of touching them.
It could have been a base lechery. But instead, it was sexual desire made simple. We knew we couldn't go further, but being allowed inside this area of restricted access with nothing more than a question was somehow amazing."
[...]
By the end of the evening, women were coming up to us. "My breasts," they asked shyly, having heard about the project. "Are they... are they good enough to be touched?" And lo, we showed them how beautiful their bodies were without turning it into something tawdry. "
The last one I feel is especially awful. What if these dorks had told her no?!?
So what these ham handed dorks want to do is distribute buttons that women wear at Cons - Yes or No. And the boob touchers still have to ask permission - thanks for that, guys :
"And anyone who had those buttons on, whether you knew them or not, was someone you could approach and ask:
"Excuse me, but may I touch your breasts?"
And if you weren't a total lout - the women retained their right to say no, of course - they would push their chests out, and you would be allowed into the sanctity of it. That exchange of happiness where one person are told with gropes and touches that they are desirable and the other is someone who's allowed to desire.
For a moment, everything that was awkward about high school would fade away and you could just say what was on your mind. It was as though parts of me were being healed whenever I did it, and I touched at least fifteen sets of boobs at Penguicon. It never got old, surprisingly.
Some women didn't want to. That was fine. We never demanded anything of anyone. And if you didn't want to put yours up for the Project but you wanted to touch, well, that was fine, too. It was simply for folks who felt like being open."
This they call "opting in". Don't you love that last bit, folks who didn't "feel like being open" - you know, in, with-it, cool, hip. Those who have hang-ups are the ones objecting. What's really mind-blowing is the reason the guy has decided maybe it's not such a good idea is that women will be scared to go to Cons now. Scared? How about unimaginably pissed off?
Sadly, there are plenty of guys like this in Cons, and the SCA too. You know, the guy who's so eager to give all the girls "hugs". Why would you say no to a hug, some people wonder? Because some guys, so-called "nice guys", want to hug ever girl at the event. And they're creepy. I know it's not politically correct in the SCA to call someone creepy, but they are there, and just because I like the club doesn't mean I have to let every guy there hug or touch me. I didn't stay with the SCA the first time I went to an event because of an incredibly loutish guy - ick.
This post is far more articulate about this situation than I can manage at this point in the semester. And this is a well thought out analysis of nerd dynamics (though it makes a lot of generalizations). Check out this great rebuttal - Open Source Swift Kick to the Balls Project
If you read his post I've linked to above (he's added a bunch of updates so you need to scroll down to finally get to the original post I'm talking about), it's painfully obvious that he's reworking some high school social issues out. Some especially horrifying quotes (I've bolded the especially egregious sections below):
"In this moment, all of the societal restrictions had fallen away, and we discovered an eBay-like need: We liked to express adoration of her body, and she liked the compliment of being desired. It wasn't a one-way flow; it was a stream of compliments being passed back and forth as we explored that small zone of her body, a My God, these are beautiful breasts you have, along with the backstream compliment of Thank you, you're worthy of touching them.
It could have been a base lechery. But instead, it was sexual desire made simple. We knew we couldn't go further, but being allowed inside this area of restricted access with nothing more than a question was somehow amazing."
[...]
By the end of the evening, women were coming up to us. "My breasts," they asked shyly, having heard about the project. "Are they... are they good enough to be touched?" And lo, we showed them how beautiful their bodies were without turning it into something tawdry. "
The last one I feel is especially awful. What if these dorks had told her no?!?
So what these ham handed dorks want to do is distribute buttons that women wear at Cons - Yes or No. And the boob touchers still have to ask permission - thanks for that, guys :
"And anyone who had those buttons on, whether you knew them or not, was someone you could approach and ask:
"Excuse me, but may I touch your breasts?"
And if you weren't a total lout - the women retained their right to say no, of course - they would push their chests out, and you would be allowed into the sanctity of it. That exchange of happiness where one person are told with gropes and touches that they are desirable and the other is someone who's allowed to desire.
For a moment, everything that was awkward about high school would fade away and you could just say what was on your mind. It was as though parts of me were being healed whenever I did it, and I touched at least fifteen sets of boobs at Penguicon. It never got old, surprisingly.
Some women didn't want to. That was fine. We never demanded anything of anyone. And if you didn't want to put yours up for the Project but you wanted to touch, well, that was fine, too. It was simply for folks who felt like being open."
This they call "opting in". Don't you love that last bit, folks who didn't "feel like being open" - you know, in, with-it, cool, hip. Those who have hang-ups are the ones objecting. What's really mind-blowing is the reason the guy has decided maybe it's not such a good idea is that women will be scared to go to Cons now. Scared? How about unimaginably pissed off?
Sadly, there are plenty of guys like this in Cons, and the SCA too. You know, the guy who's so eager to give all the girls "hugs". Why would you say no to a hug, some people wonder? Because some guys, so-called "nice guys", want to hug ever girl at the event. And they're creepy. I know it's not politically correct in the SCA to call someone creepy, but they are there, and just because I like the club doesn't mean I have to let every guy there hug or touch me. I didn't stay with the SCA the first time I went to an event because of an incredibly loutish guy - ick.
This post is far more articulate about this situation than I can manage at this point in the semester. And this is a well thought out analysis of nerd dynamics (though it makes a lot of generalizations). Check out this great rebuttal - Open Source Swift Kick to the Balls Project
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(no subject)
Date: 2008-04-26 12:55 pm (UTC)Sheesh.
(no subject)
Date: 2008-04-26 11:15 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2008-04-26 01:28 pm (UTC)My biggest problem is, if it's all about freedom of choice, why can't I choose to have some perv keep their grubby paws off of me?
And as for P.C., screw that. A creep is a creep and needs to be called on their unacceptable behavior. I'll admit, I'm not a big "I'm Okay, You're Okay" kind of gal when it comes to jerks and deviants.
(no subject)
Date: 2008-04-26 11:17 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2008-04-27 11:14 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2008-04-26 02:06 pm (UTC)What bugged me most about the whole thing was the realization that men are not allowed to compliment women and women aren't allowed to accept male compliments. (Of the non-boob feeling variety thanks!)
But I already went on about it in my journal, so I'll spare yours. :)
(no subject)
Date: 2008-04-26 11:18 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2008-04-28 04:51 pm (UTC)I friended you
Date: 2008-05-11 01:01 pm (UTC)Here's my own huge discussion on the "boob-touching project (http://tri-blog.livejournal.com/276189.html)." As you see there, one of my LJ friends has a different reason for being ok with this touching of herself, in restricted circumstances.
That post on "nerd dynamics" hits the nail on the head, about why some of these women might welcome this random touching. I am from Silicon Valley, or nerd/geek heaven. I met a woman here once who was a Linux geek (and looked and acted like one). She told me that at a Unix convention, "guys would be attracted to me and want to have sleep with me because I could use the non-GUI version of Unix and write shell scripts."
Have never been to a "con," but I can imagine. Haha.. ;p